I would call them “idiots” but I don’t want to insult all the individuals associated with D. Kidney Transplant. Their processes just represent sheer idiocy.

The purpose of this letter is to notify you that as of June 28, 2011 you have been removed from the Kidney transplant list at (D.)

The Transplant Selection Committee has reviewed your case and it is the committee’s decision that you no longer meet our program selection criteria as a candidate due to received a kidney transplant at (C.) If your situation should improve, please have your dialysis unit refer you to our program again.

If my situation should improve?


Or, at least, Word template FAIL.

I just started opening my three weeks of mail. I think I’ll take a break.


Dark-skinned communist will brainwash your children!

If you are the parent of a school-aged child, and you’re considering pulling that child out of class so s/he doesn’t get to listen to the president’s speech, please remove me from your friendlist because you’re crazy and I don’t like you.
– Facebook status update of one of my friends

I don’t think I have any conservative-minded friends who are that ridiculous, do I?

Here John Harwood slams American idiot parents who would keep their kids home from school rather than have them hear a speech by the President encouraging kids to work hard and stay in school.

(h/t Chez Pazienza, Bob Cesca)

N.C. Stupid

I can’t find a link, but I heard on WUNC that Public Policy Polling, the nonpartisan Raleigh, N.C.-based polling firm, found that roughly half of North Carolina residents either don’t think or don’t know if President Obama was born in the United States.

I’m not sure if anything since the tenure of Senator Jesse Helms has made me more embarrassed to be a resident of the Tarheel State.

I can’t stand this much stupid.

Delaware: First in Wacky Scary Sh!t

I don’t want to follow politics at all after I see shit like this. I don’t want to have anything to do with debates about what it means to be American and our shared American values. I’ll pay my taxes and vote, and please give me affordable healthcare so I might live a long life, and have some laws that lower the change that some gun nut doesn’t accidentally shoot me. Other than that, I just don’t think I can stand it.

No wonder most people I know don’t follow politics. It is not a healthy way to unwind at the end of the day. I need to go find my Match Game and Super Password reruns on the DVR…

Douchebag Lifetime Achievement Awards

To all of these tools in the video below, except for Peter Schiff, who bravely tries to warn the douchebag financial pundits and the greedy Fox News and CNBC audiences that they’re all dead wrong and that the economy is headed into a tailspin.

It is clear that you should NEVER believe a word you hear from these smug douchebags you see telling you what you should and should not invest your money in.

(For the record and the Googlesphere, the specific douchebags in the video below are Arthur Laffer, Tom Adkins, Mike Norman, Ben Stein, Tracy Brynes, and Charles Payne).

(via Michael Scherer’s post in Time’s Swampland blog)

Dog Is My Copilot

I’ll never have one of those “Coexist” bumper stickers, because there are some beliefs I just do not believe should be allowed to exist. Fort Mill, SC mayor Danny Funderburk has been forwarding around a chain letter claiming that Barack Obama is the antichrist. I’ve been to Fort Mill; I had to do some work there a few years back. There’s not much of note besides fireworks and lottery ticket stores and other crap that visitors to Carowinds might enjoy. It’s like a shitty version South of the Border. Anyway, now Fort Mill can lay claim to having the most shit-for-brains mayor in the continental United States. (Sorry, Alaska, but I now have to assume that you’re the flat-out dumbest state in the nation).

To be fair, Funderburk doesn’t claim to know one way or another of Obama is truly the antichrist. “I’ve got absolutely no way of knowing that.”

Mayor Funderburk, I think I will send you my own chain email. Did you know my dog is actually Jesus Christ incarnate? I have absolutely no way of knowing for sure, but I think it’s worth examining scripture to see if it’s a possibility.

Why Al Gore shouldn’t run (if Yahoo users represent America)

I think Al Gore may be the most qualified and potentially effective person who is not running for President. Unfortunately, tens of millions of Americans still think that there is a “debate” about climate change and dismiss Gore’s sincere work on the planet’s behalf as pomp.

Yahoo! Answers has a question from Speaker Nancy Pelosi. I won’t provide the link, because I don’t want anyone to waste their time providing a thoughtful answer. The creationist, science-dismissing nuts are running away with this question, as far as rating all the moronic answers high and the common-sense answers low. I’ll include the Yahoo userids so the the morons can potentially lose employment opportunities when they are googled after using their Yahoo email addresses in resumes. Those with rational opinions who lose potential employment opportunities over your comments, youdon’t want to work for anyone who thinks that the cause of global warming is up for debate.

Some “low”-rated answers (nearly as many thumbs-down as thumbs-up):

    nas8caror300 – car manufactures MANDATED to produce cars that get at least 40 mpg within the next 5 years instead of by the year 2020..improve the traffic flow in major cities..or a truck only belt around major cities around Chicago (258 – 255)
    Chris S – 1) Increase taxes on companies that use new timber (either from the US or imported) in their products when alternative recycled resources are available…2) Stop urban sprawl….3) Resurrect the legislation that was meant to increase fuel efficiency on cars… (375 – 345)

Some “high”-rated answers (many more thumbs-up):

    Noone N – I would like to see congress stop trying to regulate my life. What ever they do it will: 1) Cost me and other taxpayers much more than it should 2) Create more problems than it solves 3) Result in loss of liberty and freedom (738-365)
    Slim Whitman – It is not a crisis as “they” (Al Gore and his ilk) want you to believe. The earth is self healing an climate change is cyclical. For crying outloud!! People, quit Drinking the ecomarxist koolaid before you sell our Country out to UN bureaucrats!!! The current ecomarxists, yourself included are attempting to create an environment of fear for one reason, Control. (761 – 541)
    Raimon – Sound and objective scientific analysis by environmental engineers and climatologists, not pseudoscience by “experts” such as Al Gore. (513 – 115)
    mount_zion_crusader – I would first like to see it established that global warming is a bad thing, that we can even affect it, that it is even happening. (314 – 130)

And some very-low rated answers from people with the gall to suggest such ideas as:

    Juleette – [greater effort to recycle] (102-151)
    – Given that the US is the biggest contributor to pollution and global warming and that automobiles are a large fraction of that… [might as well stop there you communist America-hater] (79 – 243)

Or maybe all this is meaningless except to point out that Yahoo! Answers is NOT the place to turn if you need a serious answer to a serious question.

Cat-owning neighbor II

Follow-up to last post (Toastiest » Cat-owning neighbor)

I was going to just update my last post to say that I shouldn’t rush to judgment on either my neighbor being an asshole or a bitch or her being a stupid person with relation to her pet ownership. After all, it was five years into my cat ownership that I stopped letting my cats go outside.

I didn’t mention in my last post that Herman was outside with me, leashed to the porch, and he was whimpering incessantly because of this cat. At one point, after my last entry, my neighbor came out to track down the cat. “Sorry my cat is bothering your dog,” she said, with some sincerity. I told her it wasn’t a big deal. I wanted to tell her that what was indeed a big deal with that her cat was going to get run over.

Later, I watched the cat climb a tree. My neighbor was inside and apparently didn’t see this. And then the cat was in the middle of the street, just chilling. An SUV came roaring down the street. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to cause a panic. Nor did I want to get in the habit of running into the street after this cat, since it was clear the owner might let this happen on a daily basis. Fortunately, the SUV driver slowed down as it approached, the cat saved probably by the daylight. If this had happened after dark, I’m thinking the cat would’ve been flattened right then and there. Once again, the neighbor was inside.

I honestly give this cat a week, if it’s going to be allowed to freely roam the neighborhood. I think my neighborhood was naive enough to think that her having a fenced in backyard meant the cat would be contained. My guess is that she’s never had a cat before. Part of me thinks I ought to cut her some slack. But part of me is well aware how angry I’m going to be if I see that cat dead in the street.

Cat owners: you have the right to let your cat roam freely if your neighborhood rules allow it. But unless your cat is very well-trained or used to be a semi-feral cat who simply cannot exist indoors-only, I think you’re a pretty shitty pet owner.

Cat-owning neighbor

I’m outside doing some “gardening”, and I notice a pretty orange and white cat crawling around across the street. It has tags on, so it’s not a stray. I coax it across the street, and it’s very friendly, coming up to me for some petting.

Then the youngish, grad-student-ish female neighbor opens her front door and looks towards us.

Me (in friendly, non-judgmental tone): Is this your cat?

Her (in totally bitchy tone): Yeah. (looks towards cat) Come on back here!

So it is confirmed, that the woman catty-corner from me who hasn’t said a word to me in the months I’ve been here is, indeed, an asshole, and my stereotypical assumptions were on the money. Not only that, but her poor cat is going to get run over one day, because the owner apparently doesn’t care where it’s wandering around, as long as it’s not approaching me.