I bought a range. I was just thinking, I should buy a range. Went to homedepot.com. Click. Click. Done. No returns.

Well, it didn’t exactly go down like that. I’ve wanted a new range ever since I moved in here, since the crusty, old one has been, well, crusty and old. It doesn’t self-clean. I myself don’t clean. The heating elements keep breaking, miraculously healing themselves, but then taking forever to get going, nonetheless. I suppose the crusty, old range is a metaphor, and, thus, it needs to go.

Yeah, but you don’t cook.

Point taken.

I also bought a bike, and I don’t exercise.

And, over the summer (Things I Did On My Summer Vacation #?), I bought a NOOK, and I don’t read.

And, maybe, someday, I’ll do more than just aspire to read more, exercise more, and cook more.

As for the range, I did go a little overboard. Do I really need five burners? Well, hell, yeah, if I’m going to throw that big party and cook for 20 people like I’m always talking about doing.

When have you been talking about doing that?

Well, never.