Top 379 ramble/preview

I have been rating songs for three months now. My spreadsheet is huge. (Yeah, that does warrant mocking. My spreadsheet is HUGE!) I’ve cheated and calculated the in-progress ratings a bunch of times. (No, there’s no purity to my methodology.) I’ve been obsessing over which songs are going to be in the Top 10, which I won’t even reveal for another 13 months. I’ve been obsessing over which songs will make the cut in the Top 370s. I’ve been obsessing over all of the music I like.

Maybe I haven’t mentioned that I’m happy with the music I like. I’m in full-embrace mode. I love this music. It doesn’t mesh with what anyone likes (for the most part). People have their favorite bands and maybe some nostalgia for 80s ballads, but I have a ridiculous affinity for these songs, and even more so for the schlockiest of easy listening ballads. I embrace schlock. I embrace cheese.

If I knew anyone who’d go to karaoke with me, I’d gladly go and butcher all of these songs (after a drink or two). (Volunteers? Seriously. I’ve karaoked about four times in my life, and I’ve always wondered why I don’t do it more.)

Stream-of-consciousness interruption…how I also wish I’d just say to hell with it far more often and just write…just embracing typing whatever is on my mind, and being self-absorbed enough to imagine that the world actually cares what’s on my mind…

I’m going to execute on this Top 379 idea, and I’m going to do the site, even if I only have one person other than myself actually following it.

Oh, and Top379.com is live! Nothing to see. The logo is a placeholder doodle for now. The real logo will likely be a slightly more coherent doodle.

And, of course, a Top 379 preview, which I think would be awesome with interpretive maracas during the bridge at the 3:20 mark.

Top 379 preview

This wacky Dionne Warwick version of Unchained Melody with the pipe-banging and twelve drummers drumming and bombastic yet lovely dramatic key change probably won’t be featured, so I’ll feature it here and now. Props to YouTube user sharonastairs for filming her record player. Sunday, Monday, Happy Days! This post would not be complete without the wonderful visuals. I’m getting dizzy…

A note on the top 379..I’m obsessed with ratings songs. The whole point of this project was to mess with WordPress and learn some web skillz, but I’m too busy listening to Spotify and Amazon Cloudy Player and mixtapes from 1992.

Oh, and I have a Spotify playlist of many other versions of Unchained Melody if you’re really bored and tired of The Righteous Brothers’ version. Oh, how I loathe the Sarah McLachlan version.

Update Hey, I just noticed that this album cover spells Dionne Warwick’s name Dionne Warwicke. Alas, this is not her birthname, as, according to Wikipedia, that would be Marie Dionne Warrick. So what’s up with Warwicke? This will keep me up tonight.

Toastie Soundtrack #63

First, it’s time to retire my ridiculous song-of-the-day post titles. That was a remnant of the defunct Toastie Radio. Actually, all of these songs have been a part of my mental soundtrack at some point in my life, however insane that may seem to everyone else. So, I’ll just refer to these posts with the title of “Toastie Soundtrack” going forward.

This bombastic piece of the Last of the Mohicans score has been in my mental soundtrack since 1992. It was supposed to motivate me to have the courage to talk to a girl. As typical of that time in my life, I kept quiet for awhile, unable to make the simplest conversation. And then, in a moment of delirium, I’d open the floodgates and pour out emotions that had no place in a conversation between 16-year-olds who barely knew each other. And, honest to God, I truly didn’t know any better.

Some of you who know me probably don’t think I’ve gotten much better over the years. Truly, I have. But also, unfortunately, I’ve found myself regressing over the last few years.

I’m a pod person who gets hooked up to a machine three times a week. I’m often told, “Most people can’t work full-time and do dialysis”. No shit. I can’t do it. I mean, I am doing it, but barely. It’s not a routine I do. I stumble to the finish line of my week each and every week, barely conscious of how I did it. I feel so broken down, so overloaded with physical and mental stress. I manage to get through because I don’t really have a choice.

I’m 35, and I need to be living my life, not slogging through it half-dead. And so I attempt to do more than work and go to dialysis. This involves some degree of socializing. And, like I implied before, I used to be terrible at any sort of socializing, gradually got better over the years, and now have regressed because I can’t figure out for the life of me what I bring to the table in any sort of relationship. I feel like I need to take far more than I’m able to give. And I cannot, in good conscience, try to make a connection that will have such a dynamic.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere else, right now. Just rambling. When I say ‘no comments’, I often forget to set that flag, so I won’t bother. Comments or not, I’m just venting because it’s mid-Sunday, and I would like to get through the rest of my weekend in some productive manner.