If you can’t stand the heat

I’m the one person who does not get excited to find 72-degree temperatures in early February. I do not not like it one bit. In North Carolina, I’m lucky to get perhaps four straight weeks of temps below 60. Spring and summer can encroach at any time. I love the few nights a year when it dips into the teens. It’s invigorating. I’m a fan of the cool air, in general. 62 degrees. That’s perfect. But 72, in February? Ugh.

Why am I such a loner when it comes to my weather preferences?

Body image issues. For years, I was overweight, with my enlarged polycystic kidneys giving me the appearance of man expected twins Colder temps mean the ability to cover up the body in oversized shirts and sweaters and coats. Warmer temps mean exposing yourself. And if you see yourself in a grotesque light, this is awful.

Sweat. I’m a hairy guy. I sweat a lot. Warm temps, more sweat. Gross, especially for an perpetually out-of-shape guy. Even when it’s only 72 degrees, I’m sweating. Heck, if it’s 50 degrees, and I’m wearing a coat, and the sun is out, I’m sweating.

Immunosuppressants. While I’m hard-pressed to find any evidence now when I Google for it, I was told following my kidney transplant that my Prograf might make me experience the environment as warmer than the average person experience. A 70-degree living room feels like 80. A 74-degree office feels like 84. A cool summer day in the low 80s feels like the low 90s. Etc. Today, with the sun beaming down, is already uncomfortable.

Skin cancer! Related to the above, immunosuppressants put me at higher risk for skin cancer. I’m already so moley. I have no desire to wear bee-keeper attire to keep out the sun. If I wear long sleeves, I’m going to sweat. I get scoffed out when I say I don’t like the beach. Really, I love the idea of the beach, but it’s a horrible place for me to spend more than few minutes.

It’s depressing. What?  You’re thinking, I thought the short days of winter were responsible for depressed moods. For most, sure. For me, the warm temps are a stark reminder of the passage of time. Stuff growing out of the ground? Holy shit, please, no, not yet, too soon! I’ve got lot of life to get right and not enough time to do it. No springtime temperatures yet, please!

So when you exclaim what a gorgeous day it is, and I shrug, this is why.

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