Grad school Pt. 2

12:32AM Ok, I’ll try this again. I’ll give myself 10 minutes. Ready, go…

I just submitted my first paper. It was due at 11:55PM. Fortunately, I realized about six hours ago that I actually had until 12:55AM Eastern, since the university is in Central. This was the first of only two papers I have to write on my own. There is a term paper that is part of a team project. Really, I’d prefer it were a paper I had to write on my own. Writing this paper has been exhausting and all-consuming, but in a way that I would not want to alter by having a collaborator.

Anyway, this only had to be a 3-4 page paper. I felt like I was going to have 15 pages. I would have if I hadn’t run out of time and was able to dig deeper. I wanted to. I was curious. I was learning. In the end, it was only 6 1/2 pages.

Thursday night. Friday night. Most of the day Saturday. Most of the day today. Just for 6 1/2 pages. 6 1/2 MEDIOCRE pages. I didn’t even follow the instructions of the assignment. I was all over the place. I had created this ridiculous mind map. I wish a classmate had never posted about mind maps. I spent way too much time worried about the mind map.

I’m being so vague…

I’ve had one assignment graded so far. It was something I put way too much time into last week, and I was unsure of how I had done. 80%, maybe? I hoped I had done better than that. Well, I got 100%. And while initially that was quite rewarding to see in Blackboard, I quickly found reasons to be upset with that grade. (Of course, I did.) I didn’t do a perfect job on that assignment. Give me a 96. Tell me I did a good job, but count SOMETHING against me, please. Did I get a 100 because I did such a great job, or did everyone get an A, and I could have spent half the time on it to get a 100?

This program is HARD. It truly is. It is kicking my ass. And my time is up as of 2 minutes ago.

3 provisions of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. That was the paper, by the way. And I really need to add something. I have enormous amount of contempt, like so much more than I did before this assignment, for anyone who publicly declares or privately believes that Obamacare should be repealed. Because someone who says that has know clue what they’re really saying. It would be like…shit it’s 12:51…I can’t go down that rabbit hole.

But I will just a little bit.

[redacted]

No, I won’t. I’m a graduate student studying health care in America. I’ve got to sound like it, and I won’t if I present hostile, extemporaneous arguments in an exhausted state.

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