Lose 10 pounds in one day

If you’ve had a polycystic kidney growing in you for a few decades, just get it removed. As I did two years ago, I shall share a photo of the kidney I had taken out. My surgeon emailed it to me today.

I do want to mention for the record that Duke’s Dr. R. is a fantastic surgeon. If you need any sort of abdominal-region surgery–and, geez, I sure hope you don’t–get him to do it. Both my nephrectomies were laproscopic, and it’s incredible how he can get these massive things out through some a small opening. (I suppose there’s that miracle of birth thing, but I’ll have to settle for laproscopic nephrectomies). My incisions have healed great each time. It’s also remarkable that he can get this giant mutant kidney extricated from the other organs. Everything was all twisted up in there, and he got out the kidney with everything else left unscathed. Just as importantly, Dr. R. is the kindest, most calming doctor I’ve ever had. Some of his colleagues are not so blessed, and I’d have gone out of my mind after both surgeries had Dr. R not reassured me that I was healing well and that I was doing all I could to help myself as a patient.

Anyway, so, as was the case last time, this was a massive kidney as a result of the innumerable cysts that had spawned over the years as a result of PKD. They didn’t weigh it, and there would be no way to know for sure how heavy it was, since cysts had to be ruptured to shrink it to pull it out.

So I’m about 12-15 pounds lighter now than I was three-and-a-half weeks ago. I attribute 10-12 pounds to the kidney and 2-3 pounds to a decreased appetite while recuperating. On top of that, I had lost about 7 pounds in the two months prior from a change in diet. I don’t have any before-and-after photos. Well, that’s not true, exactly. I have photographed my gut, but I’m not up for sharing those pics at present. Maybe if I ever manage to develop abs, I will show off before-and-after-and-after photos.

As the Bruce Springsteen lyric says, my clothes don’t fit me no more. That’s a horrible reference for me to make, since Tom Hanks’ clothes don’t fit him in Philadelphia because a virus is ravaging his body. But it is a way for me to work in a plug for my neglected Top 379 site (#151: Streets of Philadelphia). And, it is accurate; my clothes don’t fit me no more.

One of many reasons the Top 379 has ground to a halt has been the proliferation of Meat Loaf that I’ve hit at this point in the countdown. #146 is going to be Meat Loaf, and I’m not motivated to post it. [I have actually posted it now. Is Nothing Sacred. Good song.)

HOWEVER, and, gee, aren’t I so clever, I am going to post something that looks a lot like some sort of grotesque meat loaf.

Behold, my last native kidney


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