Not blogging much. Have certainly cut down on the health posts. But I’ve documented the kidney chronicles fairly comprehensively…so…
The right polycystic kidney that’s scheduled to come out in 16 days is raising hell one last time, a bit like Glenn Close rising up out of the bathtub. It’s reminding me in the most acute way why it needs to be disposed of. Probable cyst burst. Pain. Not quite kidney stone pain. I’ve had both, so I think it’s cyst pain, since I can actually get up and walk around.
But here I’ve been looking forward to this surgery lately for reasons of mental wellness and vanity. Psychologically, I’ve wanted this third kidney surgery (following one nephrectomy and one transplant) so I can be done with polycystic kidneys.* I’ve wanted the second ten-pound mass removed from me so I can drop ten pounds, and so if I look pregnant, it’s because I’m fat and lazy.* To be reminded that this kidney has also been fucking hurting me for 20+ years gives me reassurance that I’m not just having an elective surgery. I need this done in every way.
However, I didn’t really need this reminder. I’ve got shit that needs to be done in the next couple of weeks. I’ve to wrap up some stuff at work. I’ve got to figure some important things out. (They must be figured out in the course of the next couple of weeks. Not “must”. It would be nice.)
Anyway, so glad I shared and had a chance to use a Fatal Attraction metaphor.
* I also have liver cysts, which are a byproduct of PKD and which will only get progressively worse over time and wreck their own havoc on my body, but I will worry about that later.