I just sent in an application for grad school. I’ve been contemplating this for about four months. I haven’t posted about it, because I didn’t let very many people know. I wasn’t sure if I would do it, all the way up until quite recently.

I have considered several different areas of study over the past, I’d say, one to three years. No, I’d say I’ve considered several different areas of study for the past 12 years, since failed attempts at going to grad school for psychology. There are so many reasons why I haven’t applied to anything until now, and I won’t go into them.

As far as this last chapter of grad school planning, I initially developed a strong interest in a local program. It would have been essentially full-time, though, somehow people tend to find time to work full-time as well. I wasn’t sure what I’d do. I ultimately decided the program wasn’t for me. Maybe I thought it wasn’t for me because I wasn’t sure that I’d get in. I spent most of December and January figuring I’d apply, and the idea faded away. I don’t know if that was the right decision, but that opportunity is off the table now.

Then I considered an online program through a very good university that isn’t based around here. This would be a part-time program, which I convinced myself made more sense than a full-time program. Still an online program, the very notion of it, gave me pause. I countered to myself that online programs are extremely common now, and despite some definite advantages of the physical campus, online degrees are simply practical. I had done the research on the university. It would be a quality degree.

I rushed to sign up for the GRE and spent much of January studying for it. Actually, I had spent a good part of December studying for the GMAT. I actually wasn’t planning to go for an MBA, but the GMAT actually made more sense for what I was planning to apply for at the time. Come January, the GRE made more sense. And so I took the GRE at the end of January, and I did fairly well. I was a bit disappointed to not have done better on the Qualitative portion, but I think it was good enough.

I rushed with the GRE becaue I had a mid-February deadline for this online program. Then, the first week of February, I was presented with a potential opportunity at my job, something that completely threw me for a loop, enough so to give me pause about grad school.

And I did pause. And pause and pause some more. February wrapped up without an application. My main hesitation to really that I didn’t want to ask people for recommendations if I wasn’t going to follow through an actually apply…or follow through if I were accepted somewhere. This probably wasn’t the best reason to procrastinate. In reality, even if I took on a new job role at work that gave me something completely different to do, a part-time degree can take at least three years to complete, and I probably would want something else to do in three years anyway.

So, enter the month of March. The new job role possibility seemed to be hitting roadblocks. There was still another deadline of mid-May for a later start date for this program.

However, all along, I had in mind a different online program, also through a quality university. And that’s the one I decided I’d apply to. The past few weeks, my mind has been focused on the application for this program. The application is due tomorrow, either midnight tomorrow or midnight in a half-hour tonight. You’d think I would’ve asked for clarification on that. I did not. So I’ve submitted my application. The deed is done.

I’ll find out if I’ve been accepted in about a month. If I’m accepted, I’d start very quickly, in mid-June.

This isn’t the traditional type of grad program that most people consider when they think of grad school. I’ve had to get over that, or at least try to. As much as grad students complain about grad school and warn others against it, I still have always had a romanticized view of “going to grad school”. I know way too many people who went on to advanced degree, and I’ve always had advanced-degree-envy. But I’m not “going to grad school”. This is not so much an academic pursuit as it is a professional one. I’m not going for a degree in something that is completely removed from what I already do. I’m going for something that will allow me to get out of that thing I’ve been doing for 15 years, that everyone I know knows I can’t stand.

So…WHAT EXACTLY AM I APPLYING FOR?

I don’t want to say here, because, if I get into this program, I won’t want anyone associated with the program to easily uncover this site. So I’m happy to tell you privately.

And that’s that for now.