Happy Holidays to all 308 million people in America except for Laurinda Swank

Laurinda Swank is the Senior Vice President and Chief Financial Officer of my former bank, First Internet Bank, aka First Internet Bank of Indiana. FIB served me well for seven years, until their customer service took an acute turn south in the past year or so. I was already going to dump my account with them. At one point, through one of my own frequent accounting errors, I was left with a -$15 balance.

I had decided to set up direct-transfer capabilities from my credit union account. In hindsight, this was not necessary because I had this link established going out of FIB. But I set this up anyway, unaware that, in addition to the customary test deposit, a test withdrawal would be made. So, my FIB account received a 27-cent deposit, as well as a 22-cent withdrawal. I was charged the usual $30 NSF fee for the withdrawal. And now my FIB balance was -$45.

I had had way too many of these $30 NSF fees over the years. Occasionally, FIB customer support would refund one when the random transaction processing order or their lack of an immediate deposit method as an online bank was to blame, but this was probably around 10% of the time. FIB still made a killing from these NSF fees from me over the years. I was leaving them, in part, because of a last-straw with increasing poor service.

This $30 fee for a 22-cent test ACH withdrawal was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. Independent of any other activity, surely a reasonable agent of FIB would recognize this absurdity and give me a refund of the fee. No dice. Twice.

I submitted a complaint via the Better Business Bureau of Indianapolis. That went to one Laurinda Swank. Ms. Swank icily stated that I had received fee reversals in the past, and I would not receive one in this case.

I think I could have responded, but I wanted to focus on getting my numerous bill-payments and automatic withdrawals out of FIB. This is an arduous task that I would only recommend doing roughly once a decade.

So, back to Ms. Laurinda Swank. I will not judge this creature of the universe. But I take her decision against my interests personally, and I would like to go on record in wishing her a mildly unpleasant holiday season. Maybe a flat-tire in the driveway before she’s supposed to be somewhere, like a nephew’s piano recital.

In addition to Ms. Swank, I would also like to wish a mildly unpleasant holiday to Nancy Grace. She’s on the television set above me, and Swift Justice deserves swift cancellation.

On a related note, Maury Christmas, everybody!

A very Maury Christmas

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