When the only one who’s got your back is you

I told my nephrologist that I didn’t think anyone at dialysis really gave a damn about the problems I’ve been having at treatment, thought not exactly in those words. He responded that he takes issue with this, that they’ve been trying things that just haven’t worked.

Would it really matter if I told him about the charge nurse who laughs at me when I bring up an idea or observation?

Would it really matter if I told him how his colleague shows his concern by turning his back on patients in the middle of conversations?

Would it really matter if I told him that, when I sink into my hellish 60-90 minutes of treatment that no one comes around to try to see what has happened to my body that wasn’t happening early?

What does he want? Thanks for keeping me alive, doc. Though my life is slipping away from me day after day, month after month, I’m still breathing, and that’s something.

I’m sorry if I have higher expectations for my treatment than you do.

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