Monday Night Lights

It’s 10:30 at night, and I wish I didn’t need to have noise-canceling headphones jacked up on my iPod, and earplugs crammed in so that I could have some slight semblance of peace. But being at the dialysis clinic entails that, because several patients and one member of the staff treat this like a social gathering, and it’s a loud social gathering. When there’s a break in the music, and I hear the cacophony, a little rage sets in. I can’t bear the thought that I may very well have years of this. (I’m thinking this transplant possibility is not happening; I’d rather not get into it. Maybe I’ll get lucky, but hope seems rather dangerous right now).

Maybe I ought to go back to the 6am shift. That was loud, too, but I’d manage to fall asleep. I’d sleep in my own bed the night before. My dog wouldn’t be heartbroken because I’d leave him for the night just a couple of hours after getting home from work.

I’ve been very worn-out on Tuesdays and Thursdays at work, so the overnight shift of dialysis isn’t necessarily the best thing for my job. I’d get to work at noon when I did AM dialysis in September, but I felt ok once I got to work.

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4 thoughts on “Monday Night Lights

  1. Hey there Toastie,

    I think one should try to live as best one can despite dialysis. If nocturnal isn’t working for you (either physically or lifestyle-wise) and you’ve given it enough of a trial run, then go back to a modality you can tolerate. If going three times a week during the day is better then do that. It’s your life, your body, your choice.

    Sending good wishes your way,
    Miriam

    PS The spam protector dings me again! I always forget to do it. 🙂

  2. Thanks, Miriam. I’ll wait until I know what the deal is with that seemingly-fading transplant option. If that’s gone, I might get ready to make a decision.

    If only there was a magical sedative I could take upon arrival that would knock me out for exactly eight hours and then leave me refreshed. (AmBien ain’t it).

  3. Miriam, I’ve tried the Benadryl a few times, including last night. It can work well, but if, like last night, I still have to contend with the lights and loud talking, it can wind up making me anxious, because I can’t get to sleep despite feeling the drug’s effects.

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