Follow-up on my work rants
Well, I missed two days of work due to various symptoms that can be summed up as having felt brain-dead. On Wednesday, I battled through a day at work despite feeling brain-dead. On Thursday, I was half-ready to deal with the fallout from the previous weekend’s activities and my blunt assessment of everything (I shared something similar to what I posted with a key figure at work). Like a boxer trying to muster the strength to stand up after being knocked out, I thought I was getting back on my feet…but, then, bam! Knocked out again by a completely unexpected development that I can’t get into here. It suffices to say, the development made moot all that I had been stressing about, conjuring up a fresh batch of brain-numbing concerns. Oh, yeah, and it cemented my feeling that the past two to three months of work was a complete waste. So now my morale at work is even lower than it was a week ago. And I expect a craptastic week ahead.
As usual, I will not allow my brain to focus on it on an off-night for more than a minute or two. It sucks, and it will always suck. I can continue to tweak elements of it in the hopes of making it more tolerable, such as what medicinal cocktail I take to sleep soundly while I’m there, what sheets I use for maximum comfort atop the awful vinyl mattress, and how I mentally cope with the jarring, cacophonous wake-up routine.
What do I want to do with my life
This is a bit too complex a question for a potpourri post. Essentially, my brain comes up mostly empty when trying to tackle this question. It’s not just what to do in the present that stumps me. What’s worse is that I can’t answer that question if it’s applied to a hypothetical future that gives me a new kidney. Here I am, begging the world for a kidney, but I don’t feel like I deserve one if I’m just going to waste my life.
I still find wonder in pet pictures, when I capture an expression that has not previously been seen in hundreds of prior images. Here’s Aremid from last night: