I saw my nephrologist today, and we decided I’d hold off on dialysis a bit longer. For the benefit of anyone reading this who’s here mostly because of my occasional PKD/kidney disease/dialysis post, my creatinine today was 6.8, which is the “best” it’s been in 3 months. It’s generally been between 7.0 and 7.5 over the past 15 months, since the February 2008 kidney stone. (This translates to roughly 10% kidney function, which means Stage 5 End Stage Renal Disease and time to consider dialysis and transplant).
The intracystic hemorrhaging continues, and it’s got my hematocrit down to 31%, which is contributing to my general feeling of fatigue.
So despite trying to be open to the message that dialysis doesn’t need to be so awesome, and that live can be lived, it’s still not an undertaking to begin unless it’s really a necessity. I don’t know exactly when I cross that line when it will be necessity, but I’m apparently not there yet.
Unfortunately, it feels like life is pretty much work->eat->nap->TV/internet->sleep->wake->work, and I would like to try to extract some more meaning from the day. Working on it. Always working on it, believe it or not. I know I’m always talking like I’m giving it up. That’s part of what’s so frustrating; I’m expending at least a great deal of mental energy trying to pick myself up, and it’s exhausting and deflating when efforts continually leave me spinning my wheels.
Let me end on an unrelated note. Presenting Herman from a couple of nights ago. He was happy for some reason. Maybe he was just enoying Spaceballs, which was playing on TV.